Let me preface this post saying that this is not meant to be a bragging type post and if you read it that way, please reread it until you get the message I am trying to make.
And this is funny that I would post something like this on the heels of my little sister making such a post – but I’ve had some things on my mind lately and it just keeps going. Hopefully, I can get it out and feel better about it.
I have been extremely blessed! I have 5 beautiful, healthy, energetic children. The Lord has blessed me richly and entrusted me with the raising them to be wonderful people. I am by far not the best mother. I am sure that my family with attest to that. But, I try to be the best I can. There are many times when I take the fact that I have these 5 healthy kids for granted.
I never struggled to get pregnant. It’s always been easy and in fact at times a little TOO easy. I got pregnant with Lex quite quickly, a little more quickly than I was ready for. We have a couple siblings that aren’t as fortunate. It took K & W 10 years (give or take) to get pregnant with their only child and they call him a “Miracle Baby.” And in ways that is so true! I’ve always struggled to tell these siblings that we are expecting and always leave it to Eric to do, but the time it was the hardest to tell them was when 3 months after they announced their arrival, we discovered we had one coming along as well. I totally felt like I was ‘stealing their thunder.’
C & A struggled for 6 years to get pregnant. When I told them we were expecting Ailey, it was not taken easily, then it was followed up with little sis saying she was expecting as well. I can’t imagine how hard this time was for A. I felt so bad for her and knew the ache she was going through. So, when she told us a few months later that she was FINALLY expecting I was ecstatic.
I’ve never had any issues keeping my sweet babies, either. I have a cousin who has a fairly easy time getting pregnant, but keeping the baby is another story. I don’t know what a miscarriage feels like, but I do know it’s not something I would ever want to go through. I know that I am not emotionally strong enough to do so. So, for those who can I am just amazed.
I’ve never had to give birth just to lose my baby a short time later like a childhood friend, B. She went into labor at 20 something weeks and only had her sweet baby boy live for a half hour. I can’t imagine the heartache that comes with something of that magnitude. I so admire her for getting back up and dusting herself off. I think she recovered from that much quicker than I would have.
I’ve never had to experience being told while I was pregnant that my baby wasn’t developing correctly as a sweet couple in our ward had to experience. They had 7 ‘healthy’ little kids and #8 proved to have some issues with the way his brain was formed. He was missing pieces of his brain and the first prognosis weren’t good.
At first they weren’t sure if he would make it to ‘term.’ When he did, everyone was astounded. Then, they weren’t sure he’d make it through delivery alive. When he was born he was whisked away to NICU right away because he was gray. (his Dad talked to the Primary kids on Sunday and I was fortunate to be there for it – that’s how I know a lot of this.) I remembered how when Tanis was born there was a whole slew of Intensive Care staff in the room just in case. Luckily, we didn’t need them and Tanis was a healthy kid.
So, I was so sad to hear that their baby actually got whisked away. When this baby’s Dad was talking on Sunday he said that after that happened, he didn’t think he’d get to see his baby again. So, they were surprised when the hospital staff brought him back a few minutes later and he was pink. They then weren’t sure they’d get to take their sweet boy home, but once again he defied the odds and went home with Mom & Dad. He had to be on a light bed for jaundice, but everything else seemed okay.
They weren’t sure he’d be able to hear, feel or see, but he has since proved that as of now he can do those things. They still aren’t sure what the future will hold for him, but as of now he is truly a ‘Miracle Baby.’
I’ve also never had to lose a child due to some freak accident. Last Thursday, during the major rainstorm a truck pulling a trailer hydroplaned into a SUV with a 5 year old, 6 year old and their mom. The 6 year old died on the scene. The mom and 5 year old were in critical condition (last I heard). My heart ached so bad for this family. I couldn’t imagine losing my sweet Lex. He is full of life and curiosity. He makes life so fun. 6 is just too young to die!
I pray I won’t lose my children due to drug/alcohol abuse. I’ve watched family go through such a thing and it isn’t easy. You can only do so much, but if your child won’t or can’t accept your help, you are left feeling so empty.
I’m not sure what really brought all this on, but I felt it needed to be shared. At least only for my benefit. I am so thankful for my healthy pregnancies and my healthy babies. And I need to try so much harder to be a better person and take better care of these sweet spirit entrusted to my care.